Does Dating Help To Save My Marriage?

 

Many marriages that are struggling to survive are asking this question—can dating save my marriage?  Well, let me first start off by answering that question with a question…do you mean dating each other or other people?  It may sound like I’m joking, but many couples have tried swinging (or swapping partners) as a means of spicing up their love life.  First, let’s examine this avenue, and then circle back around to dating each other.

Swinging is where a couple goes out and engages in extramarital sexual relationships.  For many couples, this is considered taboo and completely unacceptable for moral and religious reasons.  Church-going people are taught consistently that sex outside the marriage bed is an abomination and innately sinful.  Being an old-fashioned boy myself, I would definitely agree with this assessment.  Nonetheless, there are couples who state that swinging helped save their marriage.  The benefits of swinging according to those who engage in it are as follows:

 

  • It creates a bond between the couple because they don’t have to worry about sneaking around or being tempted to cheat.  They can be completely open about their sexual desires.
  • The fact that both people keep coming back to each other once a swing has happened creates an increased feeling of security.  You both know that even though you’ve had sex with each other, you will wind up back together anyway, because your love transcends physical intimacy.
  • It can improve a person’s technique by having sex with someone with different tendencies and thus enhance the partners’ bedroom experiences.

That being said, I personally strongly recommend against swinging, particularly to save a marriage.  If you’re feeling insecure now, you’ll feel even more so once you’ve had a more satisfying experience with another person.  Feelings of guilt and frustration are bound to take over.  And then there’s the risk of STDs.  It’s just a bad idea.

Now, let’s talk about dating each other.  A lot of times marriages fall apart because the romance dies in the relationship.  Perhaps one spouse is taking the other for granted.  Maybe work or friends is causing a loved one to feel neglected.  It could be that the hum-drum nature of life has set in and the two of you don’t do anything exciting together anymore.  When this happens, dating each other may be just the thing to help.  You could either keep it simple or go on a vacation together.  First, it gives you time to get away from it all.  It lets you focus solely on your love for one another.  Second, it helps you to think about all the good times you’ve had together and what a shame it would be to allow that to come to an end.  If you’re at a loss on where to go on a date, perhaps going somewhere you went when you dated before you got married will stir up those feelings of happy memories.  Good luck!