How To Save A Marriage-Don't Give Up On The One You Love

 


Is your marriage in trouble?  Are you at the point that words like separation and divorce are being tossed around?  It may not be too late to save your marriage, but the question is how?  How do you avoid becoming part of the statistic that states one of every two marriages will end in divorce?  By looking at the solution from the point of view of the problem, we may get a better sense of what steps can be taken to avoid permanent separation.

The Root of All Evil

They say the love of money is the root of all evil.  Either way, it’s definitely the root of the majority of marriages that fail.  Money is reported by various experts to be the number one marriage killer.  Financial difficulties increase stress levels within the family.  Arguments over how to best spend money on a tight budget will inevitably cause both partners to lose their tempers and say things they shouldn’t.

By openly and calmly communicating your feelings about the financial situation in your lives, it will promote teamwork and honesty in the home.  This sense of “we can get through this together” instead of “I can’t believe you’re such a tightwad” or pressuring a spouse to take a certain job so they can “finally make something of themselves” can be key in keeping a rocky marriage on track.

You’re Cheatin’ Heart

The next leading cause of marital problems is infidelity.  When one spouse cheats on the other, there are a range of emotions—although they somewhat differ between the sexes.  Men tend to be less forgiving than women.  For men, the rage generally stems from the fact that another man has intimately touched and sexually gratified his wife.  In other words, it’s the physical bond between his wife and another that fuels the anger.  For women, it’s more emotion-driven—the fact that her husband has become emotionally attached and has fallen in love with another woman.  Wives tend to be more forgiving if the husband convinces her that was purely physical in nature and that it didn’t really mean anything.

How Do I Divorce Thee…Let Me Count the Ways

There are plenty of other reasons that can trigger the start of the end that should be carefully guarded against:

 

  • Addiction to drugs, gambling, pornography, drinking, or other life-controlling issue
  • Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse—either directly or indirectly (abusing the kids, abusing a relative, etc.)
  • A loss of interest as a result of one partner letting themselves go (physically), boredom, or being a workaholic
  • A fundamental shift in life visions.  You thought this is what you wanted, but suddenly realize you want your life to go in a totally different direction
  • Lack of intimacy (sex, alone time, a sense of togetherness, and such)

By guarding against these things and taking steps to remedy them through communication, spending more time together, and even marriage counseling, you can keep your relationship together.